I am a Year 6 student at Edmund Hillary School in Auckland, NZ. I am in Room 9 and my teacher is Roya. This is a place where I will share my learning. Please note that some of it will not be complete, it will be my first draft. Remember to be positive, thoughtful and helpful when you leave me a comment.
What beautiful descriptive language you have used in your poem!
The smell of salt water is so distinctive - I think this is a great first line. I can almost smell it! Your second line made me think back to how it feels to have the lovely warm sand under my feet. What a nice feeling! “Gleaming” is such a great word. I could picture a stunning pink shell shining on the beach. Ka pai!
Haikus are quite tricky to write. Sticking to the following structure can be hard;
Line 1: 5 syllables Line 2: 7 syllables Line 3: 5 syllables
When I write Haikus, I like to clap so I know how many syllables each line is using. Give this a try next time - it is really helpful!
Please structure your comments as follows: Positive - Something done well Thoughtful - A sentence to let us know you actually read/watched or listened to what they had to say Helpful - Give some ideas for next time or ask a question you want to know more about
Kia ora Faafua,
ReplyDeleteCharlotte here from the SLJ team.
What beautiful descriptive language you have used in your poem!
The smell of salt water is so distinctive - I think this is a great first line. I can almost smell it! Your second line made me think back to how it feels to have the lovely warm sand under my feet. What a nice feeling! “Gleaming” is such a great word. I could picture a stunning pink shell shining on the beach. Ka pai!
Haikus are quite tricky to write. Sticking to the following structure can be hard;
Line 1: 5 syllables
Line 2: 7 syllables
Line 3: 5 syllables
When I write Haikus, I like to clap so I know how many syllables each line is using. Give this a try next time - it is really helpful!
Did you enjoy writing your poem?
Keep up the great blogging!
Nga mihi,
Charlotte